Today was a good day. I cleaned, made breakfast and got some stuff accomplished. My Fiance and I went to dinner and actually had a date. We went to bonefish grill, it was so good. Worth the 70 minute wait too. I realized somthing though. I'm six foot tall and rarely do I ever wear heels. My fiance is 5'8" on his best day. People look at us strange because I'm so tall. But the funny thing is, I wore heels tonight 3 inch wedges he loves it, im all nervous wondering what people think until i see several guys breaking there necks to look at me and women looking at me like they hated me. I am by far not a snob nor do I go out with the intention to get stares from people usually people just notice cause i'm kind of hard not to. It did feel good to get noticed though. This last week my man finally got my ring fixed, it broke when I tripped over the dog on the way to the bathroom at night... Now he moves lol.. Anyways he got it fixed with a brand new gold band it looks so beautiful. I know he spent a lot. Makes me happy he cares. I have been in a mindfull retrospect this whole week thinking about the past remembering things I haven't thought about in years. I think maybe all those things we do when were young and stupid are truly important to define us. I guess as bad as things were and they were really bad I wouldn't change it. A long time ago I never thought I would ever have peace in my life now especially since my radiation therapy is over and I feel good more often there is peace in my heart on almost all levels except my family. I have so much anxiety with them and I need to understand it all. I know I can't change people and I have to be resonable in what i expect. But I am only human and I need stability.

When we are all young we imagine our futures and what our life will bring. Some of us push forward and go on to fulfill those dreams. Yet some of us have many options and do not truly know the clear answer to what we should be doing with our lives. When I was very young I imagined being out of my parents house and wanting to be a graphic artist. Well I did get out of my parents house but I never did get to become a graphic artist. Not that I couldn't go to school now but I work for my parents in there business and I'm needed. In the last couple of years I really wanted to be a doctor and have my own practice. This option isn't available because I'm engaged and work a lot I need a great deal more time than I have to do this. There also is the question am I to old to go to school again at 25? I also feel like my family really doesn't want me to become anything other than there office manager. I'm not complaining about what I will have in the future available for me as far as income but it's the satisfaction of being well educated with a degree to prove it. I really want to know if I am making excuses or do I have a valid reason for not going to school? Am I being selfish by wanting to leave working for them? Thanks for reading.

A yes another day in the life of a pshycic. I work some customer service at my job. I do a lot of lets say "mending fences" around here but I have to stop at trying to be pshycic. People honestly expect me to know the next word that's coming out of there mouth. Or to know every thing about them. I try my best to help and I will pat my own back I have customers that think enough of me to bring christmass and birthday presents for me. But where does it end. For example there's a lady that had work done on her house a year ago but the work on her house was done under some one else name but she didn't know who. But she wanted me to tell her what we did. How am I supposed to know that. I explained with the program we use I can't cross reference the address. This call took 30 minutes just to get it all done and the out come was we still needed to send some one. Another example my family expects me to know everything honestly. I was going to get lunch and my mom asked me what's that combo number with the thing in it and how much is it. Ok I maybe full of useless info but why should I know that. I'm expected to fix every computer problem or know how to. If anything breaks I should know how to fix it. I'm going to start charging .99 cents a minute plus an access charge to speak with me. Don't get me wrong I like to be needed but some times depend upon yourself to know the answers. A few years ago in passing conversation my current husband now exhusband but also is now fiance again. Confused yet? His brother said to me after some one asked a common answer question everyone should have known but I knew the answer. " you should work at an airport information desk" You suck, what else could I say? Well work is calling and the day is almost over. thanks for reading.

Have you ever noticed it doesn't really matter with some songs what the words are the beat just entrances you enough your mind looks right on past the obvious over usage of profanity or down right lewdness. Not that I am without love of music with truly great words and a crappy tune or singing. For example david bowie, he's a true artisan of the english language but he sings rather badly. But there is a great beat and you overlook the fact that it makes little sense. Or bjork one of my personal faves she's like bowie, in that she has killer beats that move you to the core but most of the lyrics are as strange as it gets. For example ( We live on a mountain right at the top this beautiful view from the top of the mountain every morning i walk toward the edge and throw little things off like car parts, bottles and cutlery whatever I find lying around.) Basically she is talking about being afraid of her love so she gets rid of anything she can to keep him from hurting her. The deeply entrancing and emotional lyric some times doesn't make true sense at all especially when it's your emotional tongue speaking and in a downright insane rant you spill out lyrical genius that defies all logic in a true nirvana of subliminal literature. But someone always has someone else who likes them and truly understands there insanity. God bless free speech.

I drove all night to get to you. Now that's passion. I'm new at this whole blog thing but I got a few things I wanna say. I will be gentle thru it at points it may get ruff but I think anyone who reads this can handle it. I guess the first time with anything is always a shy reluctant invitation to know what I want you to about me. I am a 25 year old female, engaged to my ex husband (more on that later) I live in Florida and work and work and work some more. I have no children but I do have a wonderful and loving dog. I have some health issues. If you asked people to describe me all would say some thing completely different about me than who I am. I think no body really knows me at all. Ok well I will try not to make this suck for anyone bored enough to read this. Thanks for reading I will have more later.